This site is dedicated to the memory of Ian Ellis. Ian suffered from Cystic Fibrosis and passed away aged 24. Most of the pictures on here were taken by him.

DRIVERS who can position their car in the middle of a parking space at a supermarket are sliding closer to extinction, conservationists have warned.
Research teams have recorded a sharp decline in numbers over the last decade, despite strenuous efforts to educate the public about how easy it is to just put your f**king car in the middle of a parking space.

Dr Tom Logan, head of species protection at the WWF, said: "There is a series of white lines separated by spaces roughly the same width as a car, plus a little bit more. Let's think of that as the first Great Big F**king Clue shall we?
"As we approach, we then have to ask ourselves: 'do I park on the white line, do I straddle the white line or do I get my huge, chocolate-covered face out of my fat, greedy, unwashed arse and just put the f**king car in the middle of the f**king space?'"

Conservationists have blamed the crisis on a combination of poaching, loss of habitat and an unbelievable f**king selfishness by a bunch of total and complete bastards who deserve to die on a spike.

"There are now less than 50 people in the UK who are able to do this," said Dr Logan. "That's not just a tragedy for our planet, it's doing my f**king head in every time I go to Homebase."

WWF warned that drivers who can park in the middle of a space will soon share the fate of people who knew not to park four feet from the f**king kerb, extinct since 1993.

Dr Logan added: "A f**king mountain gorilla could do this with its f**king eyes shut, but for some reason the average British motorist seems to think every car park in the world was made just for them.
"Or maybe they've heard that if they park on the white line Graham-f**king- Norton is going to jump out from behind a bottle-bank and send them on holiday to Orlando.